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Flag as inappropriate Posted 3 years ago, 192 days ago

Construction Monkey - Joke of the Day


For all of you that need a good laugh today, I'm posting a construction joke that I found very amusing. I'm a project manager for a construction company in Santa Rosa, CA and this joke explains what I do all day. Enjoy!


The Construction Monkey

A woman was looking at the animals on display in a pet store. A few minutes later, a man walked in and said to the shopkeeper 'I'll take a Construction Monkey, please.’

The shopkeeper nodded and took a monkey out of a cage. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the man, saying, 'That'll be $5,000.' The man paid and left with the monkey.

The surprised woman went to the shopkeeper and said, 'That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?’
The shopkeeper answered, 'Ah, that's a Construction Monkey. He can drive trucks, set forms, erect steel & equipment and run pipe, all with no back talk or complaints. He's well worth the money.'

The woman then spotted a monkey in another cage. 'That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?'

'Oh, that one' replied the shopkeeper, 'that's a ' Superintendent Monkey', he can read drawings, answer RFI's, make as-build's and inspect quality. He is very useful monkey indeed.'

The woman looked around a little longer and found a monkey with a $50,000 price tag. The shocked woman exclaimed, 'This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?’

‘Well,' said the shopkeeper, 'I've never actually seen him do anything except drink beer and put his hands down his pants. But his papers say he's a Project Manager.’


It's FRIDAY, the elections are finally over and the stock market is going up (at least it was a few minutes ago).

If you have any funny jokes, feel free to post the best one you can find. Maybe would could vote on the best joke of the day.

  • by Brad T.  3 years ago, 154 days ago

    Happy Monday everyone! Just a joke to get the week started off on the right foot.

    First year students at Texas A&M's Veternary school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig.

    They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor".

    The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.

    For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, Stuck
    his finger in the butt of the dead pig, withdrew it and stuck his Finger in his mouth.

    'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his Students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead pig and sucking on it.


    When everyone finished sucking, the Professor looked at them and said, "The Second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle Finger and sucked on my index finger.
    Now learn to pay attention.."

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  • by Josh M.  3 years ago, 192 days ago

    Here is a good political joke.

    The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

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  • by Brad T.  3 years ago, 192 days ago

    A project manager was out walking in the countryside one day when a frog called out to him. He bent down, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog poked its head out of his pocket and said, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for a week as your mistress."

    The project manager took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

    The frog called out once more, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for as long as you wish and do absolutely anything that you want." Again the Project manager took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back.

    Finally, the frog demanded, "What's the matter? You can turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for ever and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

    The project manager replied, "Understand, I'm a project manager. I simply don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog...that's cool."

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  • by Luke P.  3 years ago, 192 days ago

    This has my vote! It is true I have seen you work. That is much harder than it sounds...requires a high level of dexterity. I have learned much of what I know from you. I will be practicing so I can climb the monkey ladder.

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